you win again, gameday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
