Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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