So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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