He is an equal opportunity slut.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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