Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
