I don't remember. Are we still dating?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
