R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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