Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize