pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My penis needs a shock collar
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Someone signed my nipple.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
