dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
