Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
