i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
