I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Two words: nipple clamps
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