I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
