im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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