Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
