is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
