I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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