He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
