I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
