I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
