Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
