You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
