I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do herpes really smell.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
