you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
