so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
