He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
