you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
