I'm going to jail i love you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
