Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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