i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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