I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I bet he comes in French.
barbara walters just said penis...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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