so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
