Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
