Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
