I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
