so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
