Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
