I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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