Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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