can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
