u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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