She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
