The maid of honor just puked.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize