I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
