Me too!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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