dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
