WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You work out of a Hotel?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize