dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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