Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
