I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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