if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
