the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just invented taco cereal.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
