Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
