new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
