I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What a dumb baby whore.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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