i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
