meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
