yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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